Karma
It's been a long time since I've talked about any serious issues.During this month at my current ward posting, I've been allowed to almost fully manage the patient with minimal supervision.
Not that I'm so good that the consultant lets me loose, but more of a lack of manpower, resulting in 'less supervision'.
As I've mentioned in other entries, this places a tremendous amount of mental stress on me as I have to consider all aspects of the patient (history, physicals, investigations, social and nursing care issues) and have a plan ready to present to my consultant.
It is unlike other departments whereby our senior's make much of the decisions and we just carry out the changes.
As doctors, we treat and help patients. A consultant once said, "1/3 of patients will live no matter what you do, 1/3 will die no matter what is done and the last 1/3 will survive based on the treatment we give."
Some patients will deteriorate, and I always ask myself if I could have done more for this patient.
What if the patient belonged to the group whereby my treatment matters and I did not manage her adequately?
Is that harm to patient? How do I know the patient doesn't belong to the group that will deteriorate despite treatment?
If I did not do my best? Wouldn't that be harming the patient?
So instead of saving lives, I'm doing the opposite.
I dread to think so. I really hope I'm not. And so I always ask my seniors when in doubt.
Sometimes it amazes me how they can eyeball a patient and immediately tell if the patient is going to make it.
Clinical acumen? I wish I had it, because it's really useful.
Wei Qiang converses @ 15:09
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