Survivor
Patients collapse suddenly, deteriorate overnight and leave this world in an eye-blink.Sometimes I wonder if I'll see the patient again at the morning ward rounds the next day.
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"With great power comes great responsibilities."
This is probably the cliche line of the year, but it is so true.
My HO is on leave this few days. As I yearn to prove to myself that I am ready to take care of patients, I am happy to have the chance to take on the responsibilities of the HO.
It feels great when I manage to do some of the HO tasks competently. Helping out with morning rounds, doing up changes, calling to trace results, clerking new cases etc.
Alas, not all things are wonderful in this world.
When I fail to finish a task, I feel lost.
When my HO was around, I felt protected. I knew if I couldn't do something, he/she would be there to help. Now, I feel like I must complete the task. No one else can help me do this. It's my job, my responsibility, my duty.
Sometimes that scares me. It's like suddenly swimming without a float in a deep pool when all this while, I've been wading in the baby pool.
But it's a learning curve. Maybe I'm just on the steep end of the curve now.
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"You are down, but you are never out."
Danni - survivor guatemala winner
Wei Qiang converses @ 22:10
2 Comments:
haha! my HO was on leave the first 3 days of SIP!! i was like pushed down a cliff into the deep ocean without any lifebuoy. but it was such an experience that i'm now much stronger. now my HO's on leave again and i'm much more in control. phew!
i think in retrospective, it's probably the fastest way to learn. but when in the actual situation, it's just misery.
at least now i know i can cope independently.
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